I find myself wishing I had a parenting manual. Something that would tell me how to handle every day situations involving Gavin. I've recently been catching myself wanting to give up at times and throw in the towel and say, " I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" I have a few friends who always tell me I'm such a great mother, but when I see the day to day struggles I come upon, I second guess myself at times.
Take the last 12 days:
Gavin threw up all over the car.
Got sick-and is STILL sick.
Had a high fever.
Refused all food.
Decided he didn't like his regular foods when he started eating again.
Began a whole new daily routine an hour 1/2 earlier than before
(meaning wake-up time is before 5am) Thanks, Time-Change!
STOPPED sleeping in his own crib
Started separation anxiety
Had diarrhea for days
Still hates riding in the car w/ a passion even with his new car seat
I think he's afraid of riding in the dark b/c when we go home in the evenings, the sun is down.
Gavin's 3 day-a-week babysitter is moving and it's nearly impossible to find anyone where I live.
Put all those together and they mostly boil down to the time change and him getting sick. But, as a female, I look at everything and get overwhelmed. I know I'm not the only one who does this.
It doesn't help that D is working 2 states away and I'm STILL sick b/c I haven't slept in days....
I am trying so hard to remind myself that with the bad comes the good.
Sure, Gavin may not be feeling great and is still coughing, but he's not in the hospital. He doesn't have asthma.
And he may be having separation anxiety. But, I love his big cuddles.
He's been taking up 2/3rds of my bed every night. But, he sleeps so soundly in my bed. And I love the smell of his hair curled up under my chin.
He doesn't like sweet potatoes and apple sauce right now, but he's at least eating other food. (and drinking from a sippy cup!)
All in all, he's the happiest baby you will ever know, until I walk out of the room. How can I be too upset over something like that? Over such a small person loving me sooo much?
So, I guess the babycenter.com site I frequent will have to do until a better manual comes available. Until then, all advice is welcomed!
Sorry for the random post. I'm not kidding when I say I haven't slept in days. lol.
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5 comments:
Hopefully once he starts feeling better and stays better, he'll return to normal. Maybe he's just wanting to be close to you, because he's sick? I know I'm extra clingy when I'm sick - just ask my husband! ha!
I feel for ya girl. I can't imagine raising a child while sick and with no help. Hang in there. You're doing a great job - I'm sure of it.
I hate that y'all are still sick, and things are so crazy right now. I do think you are an amazing mommy sweet friend!
love ya!!
Oh Rosie! I'm sorry yall are both sick & esp while D is out of town! I hope you have better days SOON. I definitely can relate to feeling like you dont know what you're doin. Its just been an off week for everybody I think.
I find myself googling too much! Being a mommy is hard. I really do bet that Gavin in clingy b/c he doesn't feel good. Maybe that'll get better when he does? Avery Claire has definitely noticed lately when we leave her sight - she cries and then gives the biggest smile when we walk back in the room. You're right - it's not a bad thing to be loved so much, is it? I say just snuggle that baby and love him like you already do. Praying that you find a babysitter - been there, done that. Stressful enough without all the other on top of it!
You are SO not alone! Everything gets so messed up when they're sick and this time change always bites!!! Takes us a couple of weeks to find a new groove...all for a one hr difference!
I know things will improve for the both of us...just hang in there. As I'm typing this...Liv is crying in her swing and is all fussy after another failed afternoon nap!
Sending hugs and prayers your way and I hope that you guys get well SOON!
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